Overheard at Dunkin Donuts:

I was in desperate need for a DD coffee, and while I was waiting for my French vanilla brew to be filled a man walked in. This was the conversation:

Man: “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I found a Dunkin Donut’s here!”

[side note: Someone with that much exuberance demanded that I look at him. This man was in his 50s, wearing a burnt orange shirt with the state of Texas printed in the middle and the word “TEXAS” right above it; he had more than a beer belly and looked as though he needed to shave about three weeks ago.]

DD lady: “Well, what can I get for you?”

Man: “Coffee. Extra large. Extra cream. Extra sugar.”

DD lady: “You pour your own cream and sugar.”

Man: “WHAT?!!”

DD lady: [a little louder this time because maybe she thinks he’s a bit hearing impaired] “The cream and sugar is right there for you to pour yourself.” [She points to me pouring my milk into my coffee.]

Man: “You don’t do it for me?”

DD lady: “We don’t do it here, the customer does.”

Man: “Well never mind then. I don’t want to do it myself. NEVER MIND!”

[And then he stormed out of DD. I was right behind him (I had finished pouring my own milk into my own coffee) and I noticed this guy was driving one of the largest trucks I’ve ever seen, and he had a burnt orange “Texas” license plate on the front of his big ol’ truck.]

Me: “Go back to Texas!”