Evil Six Letter Word

I wrote a few posts back about my dad going through several tests to find out what's wrong with him. Well, after waiting for months and months and going through test after test, we now finally have some answers. We found out on Cinco de Mayo (05/05/05) that he has cancer.

Cancer. My dad has cancer. I have to keep telling myself that over and over again because honestly, it doesn't seep possible. Maybe I'm in denial, I'm not sure but what I do know is that I HATE the word cancer. I hate it with every fiber in my body. Not only does it eat you up physically, but those evil six letters can make your mind go crazy with thoughts.

Non hodgkins Lymphoma(good website by the way) is the type of cancer he has, and according to the doctor (and my brother), it's "one of the best types of cancers a person can get." Chris is going to have to explain that one to me, because right now I'm not sold on that idea. From what my mom told me, lymphoma non hodgkins is very treatable and curable, which is why it's a 'good one to get.'

My dad starts chemotherapy next week. Chemo makes you nauseous, weak, and in most cases patients will lose their hair. I was reading online and sometimes hair loss begins 1-2 days after they start chemo which means there is a huge possibility when I get home my dad will look very different to me.

My friends out here are being more supportive than I ever could have imagined, and I know I have a huge support system waiting for me when I get home. Speaking of home, I don't think June 4th can come soon enough - It's time to go home. I have done EVERYTHING I wanted to do out here. I made friends in other countries and visited them, I traveled until I literally ran out of money, I studied at a high rated university and I made lasting friendships.

Since leaving home in September I've also come to appreciate things so much more. I know how important my family is to me and how much I take them for granted, but it's because of them that I've been able to do and see so much in my life. My friends (new and old) mean more to me than they ever have - if that's even possible. It's hard leaving home (even for college, let alone leaving the country), no knowing if your friendships can sustain the distance, but my friends have proved that nothing can keep us apart; my friends are without a doubt an extention of my family. There are about a dozen other things I appreciate more since moving to England, but I don't need to bore you with them.

I'm sure I'll be writing about this as I understand more of what's going on. I've been busy scribbling away in my own journal, but since it's hard for me to talk about this with people outloud I decided this would be a better way of communication for me.

Please keep my dad and my family in your prayers, this is a really difficult time right now for all of us and any extra support will be appreciated more than you know.

*** Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. - Joshua 1:9

*** For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

*** The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. - Psalms 34:18