When life gives you lemons...

When life gives you lemons do you ever feel like taking them and squeezing them over paper cuts??? That's kinda how I feel right now: angry, sad, upset, frustrated, mad - an array of emotions for something I have absolutely no control over.

It seems that whenever I leave home there's a family emergency. My grandma is not doing so well and I may be flying home for a few days very soon to be with the family. The thing that really hurts me is that my parents had to cancel their European vacation.

...Now I don't want you to get the wrong impression about me or my family - Family comes before everything, including vacations...but if you only knew!

When I was studying in England my parents had plans to come out and see me. Not just plans, but EVERYTHING reserved and ready to go. And then my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Cancer stopped him from seeing another country. Cancer stopped them from going on a trip together. Cancer stopped him from everything. And then after too many chemotherapy treatments the oncologist gave him the 'all clear' talk - he was in remission. As soon as we heard that my parents started planning their other trip - this one a Mediterranian cruise with a few extra days in Spain and England.

So here it is Sunday, just three days before they're supposed to leave for paradise and they had to call and cancel their trip.

Simply put, the timiming absolutely sucks. They're already re-re-schedualing it for September but I mean, geez, now I have to put up with four more months of my dad asking me where he can get his London hat - I've told him the place about a million times already!

As for my Nana, I was thinking about this last night before I went to bed. She doesn't really talk to anyone anymore, she just listens all the time, so I kinda stepped back and tried to put myself in her shoes. If I were her I wouldn't have any hesitation for dying. When she gets to heaven there are going to be so many people waiting for her - close family members I've never met because they died before I was born! She'll get to be with her Mama and Papa again, her husband - my grandfather whom I never met, her brother, her son and two of her grandchildren! Obviously that's just off the top of my head, there are hundreds more but how cool is that??!!!!

Well, I think I've officially run out of things to say. I'm gonna go return a lamp.