E-Me

I've had my cell phone for years. I'm talking at least three years, which is a very long time when it comes to a cell phone's lifespan. There's been talk of me wanting to get a new one, but why fix something if it ain't broke, right? Well, I may have found a reason.

I spent three very stressful days waiting to hear from Kenny. There were tears, awful stomach and head aches, and all the usual suspects showed up as signs that I was stressed. This morning, however, I received an email from him telling me that he was safe, sound, and hot. (111 degree weather will definitely make you hot.)

The other thing he mentioned was that he won't have the internet for another month. A MONTH! That's a pretty long time when we were expecting to communicate via the net. He did find a computer lab where he'll be able to use a computer when it's free, but who knows when that'll be.

That's when I decided a phone with email capability would be nice. Not so everyone could always be in touch with me (ACK!), but so I don't miss an email from him. I can't even tell you how much better I feel today after receiving a couple messages from him.

So there you have it. I'm ready to sell out and trade in my trusty white phone all because of a boy. Sheesh.

Military Girlfriend's Motto

Yesterday was a pretty rough day. I had to say bye to Kenny and just have faith that I'll get to hear from him again soon. Even though I know he didn't take his cell phone with him, I kept mine close by; not willing to acknowledge the fact that it will months before I receive a text from him again.

I woke up this morning thankful that my eyes are no longer burning or swollen, but I still have the ache in my heart (it's either that or I'm REALLY hungry!). Sorry. Trying to be funny.

While I was online last night (secretly wishing the plane he's on right now has internet access and his screen name would just pop up) I found a military girlfriends support site. It's amazing and I know I'm going to find a lot of help and support through it. Anyway, while I was searching around I found this and wanted to share it:

Military Girlfriend Motto:

I am a military girlfriend. I hold no formal recognition with the powers that be. I am at the bottom of the chain. I hold no Military ID card; I am not a "dependent" or a parent. The man I love may face unspeakable dangers, and I am at the mercy of those who possess this recognition for news. I understand this and accept this.

I am a military girlfriend. I have promised to be here for him upon his return, no matter how long he is away. People may say I am insane for making such a commitment with no guarantees, but I hold onto our promises and have faith that he will come home safe to me. I know full well that my love for him fuels him in the worst of times.

I am a military girlfriend, there is no ring on my finger to symbolize our commitment, though I love him no less for it. I hope every day that he will be able to call because a simple 30-second phone call can bring the greatest spectrum of emotions . . . smiling with tears in my eyes from so much joy and pain. My relationship is based on the brief communication where "I love you and I'm okay" speaks more than volumes and gives me the strength to keep going.

I am a military girlfriend. I take no moment spent together for granted. I hold onto every touch, caress, kiss, and every word. I have memorized the feel of his skin, his smell, the sound of his voice, and I play it over and over in my mind so that I will not forget. I cry myself to sleep some nights because missing him hurts so badly, but wake up the next morning, brush myself off, and start a new day.

I am a military girfriend, the events of the next several months hold my life, my love, and my future in the balance. When you watch the news reports, you may turn away and go about your business relatively unaffected. When I watch news stories of the war, I do not see nameless soldiers a half a world away. I see individuals who will be forever changed by war. News of every casualty causes me physical pain and deep sadness.

I am a military girfriend, not a spouse or family member. When you say your prayers for the wives, children, mothers, and fathers, please don't forget about me.

So. That's all for now. I hope to get this blog back on a non sad/weepy/military track soon. There are a lot of things going on at work this week, which should keep me busy (even at night), so that's good.

I'm going to get through this. I'm going to be strong, even if that means I have moments where I breakdown and cry.

Nobody Told Me It Would Hurt Like This

Writing has always been very therapeutic for me, which is one reason why I named this blog "Just Another Place To Escape." It's where I can release my thoughts in a somewhat productive (and sometimes not-so coherent) form.

I guess I've always been one to hold my emotions inside; only letting them burst at the last second. My brother has never had a problem sharing somewhat details of his life with us, but when it came to me I would always keep things kind of locked up. It's surprising really, considering that I'm a writer for a living, have a Type-A personality, and enjoy talking to people. But the truth is, my true feelings only come out on paper (or the world wide Internet), when hanging out with the girls, or when I have a breakdown and can't stop crying.

Which brings me to today.

Today it hit me that Kenny's leaving. Like leaving the country, and won't get to hear his voice or see him for several months, leaving. It's hard and it sucks. A lot. I'm sure it seems strange to a lot of people that I'm sad that my boyfriend, whom I rarely get to see anyway because we're doing a long distance relationship, is being deployed. The truth is, I'm not scared about him deploying, I'm just sad. And it sucks, because with the exception of my cousin, nobody I know has really been through what I'm going through. Nobody can tell me that everything is going to be OK because they've been there and done that.

So here's the thing that almost set the water works off today (I say almost, because the crying didn't start until I sat down, shut the door, and turned the ignition on in my car after work. Oh, and when my mom and I were in the kitchen later making dinner).

If you've been reading then you know my fiasco with buying a plane ticket to go see Kenny. It was ridiculous, but I bought it and am scheduled to fly out this Thursday and come back the morning of the 23rd. We both knew that he was scheduled to leave on Monday, June 23 in the afternoon. We also knew that it was a "plus or minus one day" scenario.

Not really a problem though. I mean, they wouldn't make everyone leave on a weekend, right?

Wrong. Kenny told me today he's leaving on this Sunday. SUNDAY.

Luckily he has an amazing friend out there who said he and his wife wouldn't mind me staying with them Sunday night and taking me to the airport on Monday morning. But still. That just took out 24 hours that I won't get to see my boyfriend. My mom thinks I should come home on Sunday morning, and right now Kenny and I are leaning towards that idea.

Just gotta rip the band-aid off, let it hurt for awhile, and have my mom be there to make it feel batter.

*Deep Breath*

Song of the Week (and the next three months)

I literally can't stop listening to this song, and I'm pretty sure that once Kenny leaves it's going to be playing on repeat every chance I get. Here's just one more reason why I love Jason Mraz:

Lucky by Jason Mraz, featuring Colbie Callet:
Do you hear me
talking to you
Across the water
Across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky
Oh my, baby I'm trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ohhhohhhohhhohhohhohhhohh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you, I promise you I will

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair

Though the breezes through the trees
Move so pretty, you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
Ohhhohhhohhhohhohhohhhohh
Ohhhohhhohhhohhohhohhhohhohhohhohh

c'est la vie

This morning one of the morning radio shows was talking about what your fantasy job is. Well, I'm working at my fantasy job right now!

Oprah said in an interview last month, "I feel like I would do this if I didn't get a dime for it, and that's why you know you are doing the right thing -- because it doesn't even feel like work."

I completely agree with her, and I hope I always do. I've been working at the magazine (officially) very close to a year now, and still genuinely love coming to work every morning. Sure, there are the days where I'd rather stay in bed, but everyone has an off day. Even when I'm up against deadline (like this past week) and things are absolutely insane I love it. I love the thrill of getting to tell someone's story and being a voice in the city of Albuquerque. I just love every aspect it, and think it's beyond cool that I can call my favorite hobby a "job."

*What's your fantasy job?*

Now on to less exciting stuff: Kenny's deployment in less than two weeks. Yup, the countdown is now at 13 days. Scary stuff. I'm not so much scared about the job he's going to do out there - he's reassured me about all of that. Actually, I guess you could say I'm more sad than scared.

Sad that I won't be able to talk to my best friend every day.
Sad that something exciting will happen, but by the time get to talk to him I'll forget to mention it.
Sad that he'll be alone in the desert.
Sad about the little things, like missing him.

He'll only be gone for two and a half months, which is an amazingly short amount of time compared to what it could be. He and I have also gone that long without seeing each other; we just haven't gone that long without talking to each other. Sigh. I'm sure there will be plenty of posts about how I feel about this in the future...

If I Was A Rich Girl

Let me just start by saying that it's a darn good thing I stimulated when I did. You see, usually after I buy a plane ticket that's it. I don't continue to see if I can get a cheaper ticket, or if I made a mistake with getting the one I got. I call it bad ju-ju. But yesterday, for some reason, I took a peak at Sidestep just to see.

This is what I found:

That's the exact flight I'm taking, but now it's TWO DOLLARS LESS THAN $1,000! How insane is that? You're probably noticing a flight on there for $677, and you're thinking to yourself, "why didn't you just get that flight, Jessica?" Well, the simple answer to that question is that I really didn't feel like taking 10 hours to get there.

Sheesh!

There must be more interesting things going on in my life. In fact, I know there are, but most of it involves work and I don't feel like writing about work after I've already written at work. Did that make sense? It makes sense in my head!

More exciting entries to come...I promise.

I Stimulated

Last night I did something I've never done before. I stimulated our weakening economy by pressing a "submit" button.

It was the hardest thing I've had to do in a VERY long time. Buying a round trip ticket to see Kenny before he leaves was an easy thing to do; it was spending the $846 that was hard. Yeah, you read correct. I spent close to $900 on a regular ticket to the largest and busiest airport in the country. Ridiculous.

For the past two months I've been keeping an eye on this weekend trip I wanted to take and the price just wouldn't budge. Finally, Kenny and I decided to split the ticket, bringing the price for both of us to see each other down to a little more than $400 each, much more reasonable.

Truth be told, I did find two different prices that were around the $550 range, but it would have taken me AT LEAST eight hours to get there; I'd have to change AIRLINES twice and planes twice. Not worth it.

I even called Delta and pleaded my sob story case (just a girlfriend trying to surprise - okay, a bit of a lie since he knew I was going out there - her boyfriend before he was deployed). Not only did they give me insight into when prices would go down, but the woman told me a HIGHER price over the phone. Ridiculous.

So, I'm now the proud owner of a crazy expensive plane ticket. And the next thing to tick me off about traveling is the annoyance that I'll have to buy a $5 snack on the flight if I want something to eat, spend $8 for in flight entertainment, and I better pack everything into a carry on otherwise it's an extra fifteen bucks.

So there you go, economy, I'm doing my part. O

Cook Rocks My Socks Off

David Cook won American Idol last night, and thank goodness, too. Archuleta just never did it for me. He always looked like he was ready to run off the stage crying at any second. Anyway, this was the highlight for me from the two-hour finale last night:

This is the full length commercial:


And here's the 30-second spot:


Which one do you like more?

My first American Idol finale

"They need no introduction," announces Ryan Seacrest on the season finale of American Idol tonight.

"Oooo! Who's it going to be," I anxiously ask myself.

*music starts*

"Who is this?" I say out loud.

"I think it's the Jonas Brothers," answers my mom.

"The who?"

She matter-of-factly replies, "The Jonas Brothers."

Oh. Them. I must be old, because I've never heard of the Jonas Brothers. They're not even good. Lame. I'm now officially old, which is even lamer.

Know what else is lame? Actually, this is more silly than lame. Have you ever paid for something with your credit card, swiped the card and then put it back in your wallet? That's all pretty normal. The silly part comes next, when the girl (or guy) at the register asks to see your ID. They're asking to see your ID because they know they need to; to make sure you are who you say you are on your card. But wait! They don't have a credit card in front of them, so basically they're just making sure you appear to be the same person on your ID. It happens pretty often and I think I may say something the next time. Something like, "Hey, do you want to double check that the credit card I just paid for my stuff with also says, 'Jessica Torres' on it?" Silly people.

Ok, I need to get back to American Idol and cross my fingers that David Cook is going to win, even though I know all the little teeny-boppers voted for Archuleta.

Three Cheers For Friday.

Sigh.

I think I may be in a fiesty, provoking mood today. And I think it started when I saw this white truck zooming down the street cutting people off and almost causing one serious accident - don't people know you're not supposed to change lanes in the middle of an intersection? Oh. A blinker would be nice, too. Anyway, I saw about four different people flip off this truck (the truck, mind you, had two teenager guys in it wearing all black [well, black shirts] and hairnets and were on their way to Del Norte High School...).

Right after this incident I started listening to The Peak where they were talking about this dumbass. He picked up a cardboard gun from the theater department and WALKED DOWN THE HALL WITH IT. Seriously. What was he thinking? Now he (his family?) is thinking of pressing charges, and the district court judge is calling it all an "overreaction."

I'm sorry, what?

I remember where I was when Columbine happened and being afraid of going to school after that. I also remember the Virginia Tech Massacre and imagining that happen to my friends. You get any one of those students to give their opinion and I bet you $100 they'll say his punishment (of being left in handcuffs three hours AFTER they found out it was a cardboard gun) was too harsh. COME ON! If they didn't go to extreme measures and evacuate the school and keep him in cuffs there could have been a real disaster. What if he was just a decoy for someone else about to go on a rampage?

*DEEP BREATH, Jessica*

Ok. Which brings me to my third rant of the morning (and it's not even 9:30 yet). I always read Duke City Fix when I get to work to catch up on what the people of Albuquerque are talking about.

Then I see a discussion by this guy about the United We Stand bumper sticker. The thing that irks me about this is are the comments from people on there making the bumper sticker political. They're making it about the war and our president. Since this is my blog I can say what I think it's about.

When I hear or see the phrase "United We Stand" I think of our troops. No matter where they are and no matter what they're doing. It's about the American people standing behind America. I remember seeing it for the first time after 9/11 and it brought chills to my spin. It was a slogan saying, "Okay, we had this huge disaster, but we're going to get through it. Everything will be just fine because we're here for each other."

Why do people always have to make it political? He says in his discussion, "But what this bumper sticker is saying is that we all back our governments decisions 100%, all of us." I see the slogan the way you see your best friend. She may be dating someone you don't like or approve of (JUST an example, I like my best friend's boyfriend!), but you're going to support her and stand behind her. That's it. It's that simple.

I think I'm done for now.

13 things

I've been slacking on the blogging, so I think I'm just going to make some quick, and very necessary, updates:

1. Lame fish died. The fish was so lame it didn't even last a week. Lame.

2. On the way to Las Cruces last weekend Emily's car kicked the bucket in Socorro. We spent four hours sitting at the Sonic in Socorro; we almost saw a drug deal occur, but it didn't because the guy didn't have the "paper," money we're guessing, so we almost saw a fight; as we were sitting there my cousin, of all people, pulled up in his truck next to us - he was on his way to play a show in Socorro.

3. Sonic Radio kicks some major tush.

4. Tow truck drivers have very interesting stories.

5. The white lines on the road are 15 feet long. Seriously.

6. Natalie graduated with flying colors!

7. My brother cut his hand on a wine glass at work on Sunday.

8. After four hours at the hospital he now has seven stitches in his left, middle finger.

9. I LOVE the rain we're getting at the moment.

10. Kenny is being deployed in 40 days and that makes me ridiculously sad.

11. I CAN'T STAND either of these songs: "Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis and "No Air" by Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown. I would seriously rather poke my ears out with a fork.

12. I've been addicted to Sour Cream and Onion chips and even though it's barely 9 am, I really want to chow down on some right now.

13. I've been thinking about getting a new car with better gas mileage, but I wouldn't get anything for the car I have now. Bummer.

Ok. Now I"m just stretching for things to say. Till next time...

A True Story:

"Why aren't you dead yet?" asked my 22-year-old brother to my 15-year-old goldfish.

Two days later Fishy committed suicide.

No lie.

I "won" Fishy from a State Fair carnival game when I was in middle school. It was one of those games where you throw a dime in a cup and you win a fish. She lived in a glass bowl and thrived over the years. Every time you'd walk by she'd come over and make little fishy faces at you. Whoever said goldfish only have a five second memory never met Fishy.

I remember scolding Chris when he said those harsh words to Fishy, but didn't think much of it after that until my mom said to me, a few days later, "Jess, do you know where Fishy is?"

Well, the response was pretty obvious. "Um, isn't she in the bowl," I said with a chuckle. Duh.

"Um. No," she said, "Fishy isn't here."

I realized this mystery was something worth getting off the couch for, so I joined my mom as we stood there and looked at an empty fish bowl. The bowl, mind you, is sitting on a four-foot entertainment center. We searched around it - a good five inches on either side of the bowl - but didn't find Fishy. Then we decided we needed to look behind the entertainment center with a flashlight. My mom stood on a chair and peered over. No fish.

Then I told her to check against the wall to the left of the center. I knew she found Fishy by the way her shoulders caved in.

In all the years we had Fishy she had never jumped out of her bowl. Ironically, two days after Chris told her she should already be dead, she jumped to her death.

We got another goldfish the very next day, but it just sits there at the bottom of the bowl. It's the lamest fish I've ever seen.

And, just to let it be said, Fishy did not ride the porcelain slide, she was given a proper burial outside.

RIP, Fishy. RIP.

Seis de Mayo

Yesterday was Cinco de Mayo, which means that three years go yesterday (5/5/5) is when I got the phone call in England from my mom saying that my dad had cancer. I remember my world coming to a halt, my breath literally being sucked out of me, and feeling my heart stop. I remember it as though it was yesterday.

He's been in remission for two and a half years, but every time he goes back for a check up I'm on pins and needles, praying that it's not back.

I just found out that Marne's dad died a few weeks ago. Marne's a girl who works with Team in Training and the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, somebody who's made it her mission to raise money to find a cure for these terrible diseases. Her father, as I understand, died of cancer. It's just a terrible and awful irony that he died of cancer while she's made it her mission to work with an organization to find a cure for blood cancer. It breaks my heart so bad.

I HATE CANCER.

Random Saturday thoughts

I went to New York and Company just now to pay off my credit card bill from them—the only extra credit card I have, I need to add—and when I was there I ended up shopping. I really should have seen it coming. They switch out their inventory too often, making me buy more of their products...very clever NYC, very clever. Luckily I have several coupons from them (I like to think they send them to me because I'm such a loyal customer), so I had them hold the stuff I want and I'll go pick it up after I see Made of Honor this afternoon.

Yup, my mom and I are gonna go see the rip off of Julia Robert's My Best Friend's Wedding. I'm sure it'll be good because McDreamy is staring in it, but there was something classic about the other movie. I think it's because I related to it more. Yes. At one point in my life I contemplated stopping a wedding because I was in love with my best friend. KIDDING. Maybe I'll relate to this one too, who knows. It'd be kinda funny, no, hilarious to see Jeff standing up there some day as my maid of honor. HA.

I'm at Satellite right now, my favorite coffee shop ever. (Actually, I lie. Cafe Nero is hands down, my all-time favorite coffee shop. I miss that place very much.) Anyway. Satellite makes my favorite drink, which I know I've talked about before, but whatever. It's called a London Fog (hmmm...I wonder why I like it so much...) and it's supposed to come with Earl Gray tea (yuck), but I get it with English Breakfast (yum). It also comes with a shot of vanilla and steamed milk. Can it get any better than this? Nope. It sure can't. Mmmm. I actually have to pace myself when drinking this.

I realize I haven't talked about the Michael Buble concert yet. Well, I think I may just need to direct you over to Jenna's for her recap. One of these days, when I finagle more space on my computer, I'll upload some pictures so you can see how seriously close we were to him. So close that he touched my hand (swoon!!). Ah, good times.

Sidenote: Satellite has two travel mugs out that I really want. I wish I brought my camera in to take a picture. One says, "Caffeine is my drug of choice" and the other says, "I love coffee." I think I like the first one the most because I like tea and coffee. I don't discriminate (well, I do, but only about the type of tea - Earl Gray, bad; English Breakfast, good.).

Shoot. I'm almost done with my London Fog. I need to slow down.

It's baaaack!

Grey's Anatomy is freaking back :) I love writers.